Whatever, I Win Because Your Brain Sucks: Election 2012

Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum–two men that most of us have never really considered as legitimate threats to Mitt Romney’s inevitable presidential candidacy–have officially conceded this past month. As a country, this means two things:

(1) We are no longer subject to lazy SNL impersonations of the lackluster Republican field
(2) General election season is here! Let’s all get pissed off, cynical, and polarized!

While The Computer Newspaper cannot promise thorough coverage of the actual issues at hand for Obama vs. Romney, we can guarantee nearly-bipartisan enthusiasm when it comes to skewering the transparent, oft-misguided campaign tactics that we voters get to enjoy only every four years.

The newest, and most irrelevant, discussion in the political world is essentially the following:  If you’re a Republican, your distorted worldview is the direct result of abnormal brain chemistry. Continue reading


Heredity Borrowed

I am not an avid reader, but when I do crack open a book, I try to ensure it’s a piece of literature that will imprint 3 or 4 lasting ideas in my brain.  That may be a modest goal, but it’s one that I have resigned to accept after years of forgetting everything I have ever learned.  Also, and this is true for any of us, I find that repeating these 3 or 4 ideas to other members of society later in life is, assuming they are said with a confident, bordering-on-arrogant tone, enough to make people assume that you know what you’re talking about.  I guess most people are the same type of intellectual nomad, casually absorbing information in a variety of subjects with mild interest, doomed to remember just a few concepts; we are all masters of bullshit.

(WARNING: if you happen to find yourself in a pseudo-intellectual conversation with an expert on an academic topic, having that type of moment where you realize it was only ‘pseudo’ on your end, I don’t recommend panicking. Just realize that they’re a nerd and throw in an excuse like ‘it’s been so long since I’ve looked at it, I don’t know’ or my personal preference, switch the subject matter to something you are well-versed in, like ‘can you name the bench for the ’97 Bulls’ or ‘Spankwire vs. Pornhub: go!’)
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